Is Work-Life Balance an Oxymoron?

29 May Is Work-Life Balance an Oxymoron?

Work-Life Balance

Could it be true that work-life balance is just an oxymoron?
And the typical work and life tensions will never go away…

Eureka

I had a ‘Eureka’ moment at a leadership conference a few years ago during an illustration on ‘tensions’ by Andy Stanley. His demonstration was on the relationship between the thumb and the other four fingers. His focus was on how tension in our hands enable us to grab, hold and use our hands effectively. Up until that time, I had not spent any considerable amount of time researching that tidbit but it left an indelible mark on me.

I left that conference satisfied with the realization that some tensions (issues) in life will never be eliminated or solved but managed and if done properly could become an ideal situation. In a sense, my position is “some tensions in our lives are meant to be embraced and managed” and not eliminated or eradicated. One of those tensions I face often is the need to balance work (career, business, entrepreneurial pursuits, consulting engagements etc) and life (family, marriage, children etc) commonly referred to as work-life balance.

I do not think one ever solves that riddle…we simply manage the tension.
I think the better one manages that tension, the better life gets but I stand corrected.

Perhaps, it’s just me but I think honestly we all struggle with these tensions that just never go away…even when one takes a long vacation.

Upon return to reality, those tensions creep in again sure enough.

I have like many people struggled on many occasions with balancing my work, ministry, business and my personal, spiritual and family life. I admit, it is still a struggle! It’s progressive success…There is and I believe there will always be that ‘tension’.

The Choice

I read an article titled, THE CHOICE by Atty. Josephus Jimenez which highlighted the ultimate irony of life. The writer mentioned amongst other things a lesson to be learnt from one of John Grisham’s book, “The Testament”, which tells of a highly successful industrialist who made billions of dollars but lost his family. In the first 10 pages of the novel, this man jumped to his death from his multi-story building in front of his self-centered children.

By his will, he disinherited all of them and bequeathed his entire estate to an illegitimate daughter who refused to accept it. Josephus defined the ultimate irony as…

…those who lusted for money lost it. Those who were given all the money refused it.”
I think the moral of that story must not be lost on us…

We (You & I ) have a choice to make before the next waves of tensions arise… a choice that reflects what or who matters the most.

Three Ingredients

These are the three ingredients I consider when facing tensions:

1. Value: Does my choice (decision) add positive value to people or does it satisfy only my desires?
2. Position: Does my decision or choice displace people? Does it place more importance on things rather than the people I lead, know or care about?
3. Priority: Perhaps most importantly does this choice nurture my purpose, destiny and spirit (essence)?

Without a doubt, tensions will arise on your journey, in particular as you navigate life, career, family choices and other life altering decisions but I hope you would have spent time deciding on your core values before those issues arise ?

Wishing you the very best,
‘Flo
Follow on twitter: @flofalayi